What did the Bountiful team wish they knew before becoming parents?

Before Elsie arrived, I had a thousand ideas about what motherhood would look like. Some turned out to be true, while others – not so much.

I’m 16 months into life as Elsie’s mum (and stepmum to three amazing kids) and I’ve found myself reflecting on what I wish I’d known before becoming a (full-time) parent. Not just the practical stuff, but the unexpected truths no one really talks about. And I’m not alone. My team at Bountiful are all mums too, so I asked them what they wish they’d known prior to becoming a parent - and their answers? Honest, moving and just so relatable. 

Whether you’re expecting, newly postpartum, or just curious, I hope these reflections offer comfort and solidarity.

My personal experience with motherhood – I wish I knew…

Just how sick I would be.

I thought I’d spend pregnancy ticking off to-do lists and getting organised. Instead, I spent nine months in and out of hospital with hyperemesis, clinging to my emotional support vomit bowl. It was brutal.

That it can take time to feel that overwhelming love.

People talk about that instant, all-consuming love - but for me, it took a few weeks. I had longed for this baby. But when she finally arrived, I did not feel instantly obsessed or overwhelmed with love like I thought I would be. That came a few weeks later and it still wasn’t this moment of yes that was it, I love her now. It was a slowwwww burn but I got there. I did feel broken though that I didn’t feel my heart crack open like is talked about. But now?... Elsie is the absolute light of my life, and I can’t imagine life without her!

That it would shift how I parent my stepchildren.

Becoming Elsie’s mum gave me a new lens on motherhood, and it’s changed how I show up for Will’s kids too. It's deepened my connection with them but also brought some big feelings I hadn’t anticipated.

That I’d totally understand why parents need a break.

I used to wonder why mums wanted nights away or even just time to themselves. I get it now - parenting truly is a full-time gig and there are no days off! Sometimes you just need a break (even though as a mum you can never fully disconnect). 

That the little tasks would stop feeling enjoyable.

I used to love doing the little mundane things in life, like making lunches. Now that they’re constant and non-negotiable, they’ve lost their charm.

Just how much I’d hate folding tiny human washing.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - I despise folding tiny clothes with a passion I didn’t know existed! And why does my toddler wait until I’m finally finished to knock over the piles of folded washing?!

That it’s okay to not love every part of it.

Some days are magical. Others are monotonous, exhausting, or just plain hard. And that doesn’t make you any less of a good mum.

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When I asked the Bountiful team what they wish they’d known before becoming mums, everyone shared some super raw insights.

They wish they’d known how overwhelming the constant noise, touch and need would be - that overstimulation is real and it’s exhausting. They wish someone had warned them about the mental load too, not just the visible tasks, but the invisible weight of remembering everything - clothes, routines, appointments just to name a few.

They wish they’d known how common it is to feel resentment toward a partner whose life seems less disrupted, and how that feeling is often tangled up with guilt for wanting some time to themselves.

They wish they’d known how much friendships might shift, especially with people who haven’t had kids yet.

They wish they’d known about postpartum rage. Not just anxiety or depression, but the unexpected intensity of anger that can bubble up when you’re sleep-deprived and touched out and running on empty.

And they wish they’d known that it’s possible to desperately want space, then miss your baby the moment you get it. That two completely opposing feelings can exist at the same time.

But above all, even with everything they wish they’d known, they’d want others to know that motherhood is the greatest gift. Nothing can truly prepare you for the kind of love you’ll feel for your child - it’s like no other. The exhaustion, the shifting identity, the steep learning curves - all of it is wrapped in a love so deep, you truly can’t understand it until you’ve felt it yourself.

The transition to parenthood is tough but you’re not alone. 

Kaz x