Trying for baby #2, metformin and first trimester trenches

NOTE: This was written two days before a scan in early February, when we learned that our wee girl Lottie no longer had a heartbeat. The feelings, thoughts and content reflect where I was at the time of writing, so I am still choosing to share it. Please know this is not a pregnancy announcement. I shared more about our missed miscarriage with Lottie on Instagram and have saved it under a highlight for parents who may be going through something similar.

Deciding to go for baby #2 after the hell that was my pregnancy with Elsie was something Will and I talked about for a long time. Elsie was about six months old when I first floated the idea, which was met with a very firm “you’re joking, right?”. Fair enough. We were deep in sleep deprivation, moving house, and in the middle of some big life changes.

We did explore the idea of using a surrogate, but ultimately I decided I wanted to carry my own baby, especially knowing this will be our last. My mind had also very conveniently blocked out a lot of the trauma. One night I said to Will, “It wasn’t really that bad with Elsie”… safe to say a quick look back at photos confirmed that yes, it really was that bad.

We started by going back to Fertility Associates. After each round or transfer, you have a review to go through what worked, what didn’t, and to plan next steps. At that appointment we talked through my pregnancy with Elsie in detail. From there, we made the call that I would go on metformin for a few months before doing an embryo transfer.

*I want to preface this by saying I am not a medical professional, and I really encourage you to do your own research and talk things through with your GP or OB if metformin is something you’re considering. In our review appointment, I was lucky that my doctor (who also happened to be the doctor who did my caesarean with Elsie) was very up to date with the limited research around metformin use and the severity of HG in pregnancy. I started on 500mg twice a day, but dropped to 250mg twice a day initially as the nausea was pretty intense. Over time, I worked my way up to 1000mg twice a day. I had been on this dose for about four months before our transfer in November.

November came around quickly, and then it was straight into daily blood tests until my hormones were at the right levels. Transfer day arrived, and if you’ve never had one, it’s such an odd experience. You need a full bladder, which is wildly uncomfortable, then you’re taken into the room with your bum right on the edge of the bed and your feet in stirrups. They use the ultrasound to check everything, and then the embryo is placed. With Elsie, we saw a very obvious bright dot on the screen. This time it was much less visible. And then that’s it. You are technically pregnant from that moment. The whole process takes less than five minutes. What follows, though, is the waiting game to see if the embryo implants. Anyone who has been through fertility treatment or infertility will understand how stressful this time is. Every time I went to the toilet, I was convinced the embryo might just fall out. This is not a thing, but my brain absolutely believed it was.

Ten days later we had the all-important blood test, although I had been testing at home for the previous four days. And… amazing. We were pregnant. That was also the moment the anxiety kicked in. How long until I get sick again? Can I let myself get excited? What if it doesn’t stick? We then had to wait another three weeks for a scan. Thankfully, everything looked perfect and we saw a strong little heartbeat.

Will and I decided not to tell anyone we were doing a transfer, which was a big change from last time when around 14,000 people were following our cycle on social media. I did end up telling one friend because Will couldn’t come to the transfer and I had a moment of “I can’t do this alone”. She was busy anyway, so I pulled myself together and got on with it.

We told our families at Christmas when I was about eight weeks, and it was such a special moment.

The nausea and vomiting this time has been so much better than last time. It’s hard to know whether that’s due to the metformin or just a completely different pregnancy. That’s the challenge with HG. Some women have it in one pregnancy and not another without doing anything differently. Others have it in every pregnancy, and plenty of parents go through pregnancy without nausea or vomiting at all. It makes robust research really difficult.

We are so excited to be welcoming another little one into our family later this year, and I’ll keep sharing updates along the way. If you’d like to follow along, come and find us on Instagram.

To anyone going through their own infertility journey, I know how tough it can be and my DMs are always open if you need someone to chat with or vent too. 

P.S. Using the app while actually being pregnant has been incredibly special. Not to toot my own horn, but we’ve genuinely created something game-changing for parents.

Kaz xx