Mum after the birth
You’ve just been through a life-changing event. Here’s how to cope with those first few days.
Your new body
It will take a while for things to get back to normal. A postnatal body feels very different from a pregnant body. Knowing what to expect can make things easier.
Lochia
After the baby is born, most women have a discharge called lochia, which is a bit like a period. It may be heavy at first but gradually get lighter. You may need to use two maternity-grade sanitary pads for the first few hours, then just one at a time. The loss is bright red to begin with, then pinkish for a week, then brownish-yellowish-white. If you pass blood clots of blood bigger than a 50 cent piece, tell your LMC, and save that pad in a plastic bag to show her when she calls. It may be that not all of the placenta came away after the birth and some pieces were left behind. Some bleeding may occur for 3-5 weeks following the birth.
Your lochia should not be very smelly. If it is, discuss with your LMC as you may have an infection.
Afterpains
You may feel ‘afterpains’, like contractions, sometimes very strongly when you begin a breastfeed. These can be particularly strong after second and subsequent babies. Your LMC may suggest taking medication to help. They only last for a few days and are a good sign that your uterus is shrinking back to its usual size.
A stitch in time
Stitches after a cut (episotomy) or tear, can feel quite uncomfortable for the first few days. Try these tips:
- eat a diet rich in fibre so that passing a motion is easy
- keep the area clean and use soft tissues to pat the area dry
- practise your pelvic floor muscle exercises
- if they sting when you urinate, take a cup of warm water into the toilet with you and pour this over stitches as you go. Or urinate in the shower or bath just before you get out!
- if you are worried about opening your bowels for the first time (and we all are!) fold a clean sanitary pad in half and hold this on your stitches while you go.
Perineal pain
Even if you haven’t had a tear or a cut, your perineum may feel very bruised and sore. If you find it uncomfortable to sit down, your LMC can give you a support cushion. An ice pack – applied for short periods – can also ease the pain. You will be encouraged to get up and move around as soon as possible, even if you have had a caesarean; being active leads to a quicker recovery. If your stitches are smelly or seem to be oozing, ask your LMC to check them. There could be an infection and you might need antibiotics.
Coping after a caesarean
If you’ve had a section, you may find your postnatal recovery is slower than that of other mothers. No wonder – you’ve had major surgery. You’ll have:
A cut – it may look enormous at first, but it will gradually shrink along with your abdomen and eventually fade from red to a thin, fine white line. You may also have a drain in the cut, a catheter in your bladder and a drip in the back of your hand! All these things will gradually be taken out over the next 24 hours or so, making you freer to enjoy your baby. If you need to cough or pass wind, it can be very painful. Hold a pillow or both of your hands over the wound while you do so.
Stitches – depend on the surgeon. Some are absorbable, others need to be removed.
Pain relief – you may be given injections or it is often given via a pump or through your drip. Alternatively, you may be given suppositories which are put in your back passage, every few hours. They are very effective in keeping you pain-free and are not harmful if you’re breastfeeding. Do tell your midwife or LMC if you’re still in pain – it’s important that you’re comfortable enough to cuddle and feed your baby.
Wind – the surgery will have disturbed your digestive system and you may have wind in the lower bowel. Eat plenty of fruit and drink plenty of fluids to keep things moving – it will soon fade. Some women find that peppermint tea also helps. Avoid fizzy drinks.
Advice on the best way to move, lift and feed your baby – you may need to try various feeding positions until you find one that’s comfortable. Midwives will help you with this. Keep your circulation working while you’re in bed by wiggling your toes and circling your ankles.
Most mothers find the first few days quite hard but then things improve quickly. You may go home after about four or five days. See if your partner, or a friend can help out in the first few weeks at home.
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If you have just given birth – you have just been through a life-changing event, here’s how to cope with the first few days
Thinking of heading back to work? Here are a few helpful ideas to make that decision a wee bit easier
It can be a hard decision to go back to work after having your baby. Here are a few helpful ideas to make that decision a wee bit easier.
Find out about flexible working
Parents of children aged 16 and under, or those who have disabled children, can request a flexible working pattern. This can help you balance caring for your child with work. Your employer has a legal duty to consider the request and must reply to you in writing.
Investigate Childcare Options.
Nannies/Daycare/Kindy which is the right choice for you?
Babysitters/Nannies
A child must not by law be left alone in the care of a person under 14 years of age (this includes a sibling.)
- A personal recommendation for a sitter is usually best and ask for a reference.
- Stay with your baby and minder while they get to know one another.
- Ensure you leave explicit information regarding feeding, changing, sleep and how frequently to check baby.
- Leave your contact phone numbers and emergency numbers.
- Make sure your sitter knows how to get out in case of an emergency.
- Set ground rules regarding use of telephone, computer and having friends round.
- It is helpful if the babysitter has a first aid certificate.
Returning to work
If you were in paid employment prior to having your baby, you will probably have discussed your parental leave entitlements as they relate to your employment contract. See our Paid Parental Leave section for more details.
The childcare decision is never an easy one. Whoever you choose to care for your child, you must feel totally comfortable with your decision.
You will need to remember that many childcare centres and family day care schemes have long waiting lists, and options such as employing a nanny can be very time-consuming. Commonly asked questions regarding childcare include
- What is the staff to child ratio in the centre (how many children does one staff member care for)?
- Will my child be happy and well cared for?
- What sort of interactions will my child have with the carer?
- Will my child resent me not being there for him 24/7?
- Can I call in any time unannounced and will I be made to feel welcome?
- What childcare qualifications/skills does the carer possess?
- What are the health policies for this childcare centre and are they adhered to?
- What facilities and resources are available to help my child develop socially, creatively and developmentally?
- If something goes wrong while he’s in care will I be contacted immediately?
- Will they feed expressed breastmilk?
What about the cost of childcare?
Childcare can be very expensive. Make sure you know what entitlements you may claim.
New Zealand Family Assistance
The Inland Revenue Department website www.ird.govt.nz for Family Assistance provides detailed information about the payments available to you and your family. You can contact family Assistance by the free-call number 0800 227 773 (remember to have your IRD number handy) or www.smartstart.services.govt.nz.
Family Assistance is available as:
- Family Support
- In work payment
- Family Tax Credit
- Parental Tax Credit
Paid parental leave may also be an option for some families. The amount you receive will depend on your total family income, and its source, and how many dependent children under 18 years of age are living with you. Each family situation is different and you should seek advice from IRD about your particular circumstances.
Childcare and OSCAR (Out of School Care and Recreation) subsidies are available, depending on your income. For information on Childcare Assistance 0800774004, or apply online.
www.workingforfamilies.govt.nz
If you are applying for Family Assistance for the first time you will need to provide the following information:
- Details about the principal child carer
- Your bank account details for payment
- Details of children (names, DOB, IRD numbers)
So how do you make that decision?
- Referrals – whatever childcare you are considering, referrals from friends and co-workers are the first and most reliable method.
- Visits – take your child with you to visit child care providers in your area.
- Spend time watching how the staff interact with the children.
- Enquire about the routines and educational programmes they have in place.
As a parent, you know your child best. Use that knowledge. To select a child care setting that’s right for him, consider your child’s activity level, his need for social interaction, and tolerance to new routines.
- Is your child adaptable, approaching new situations and new people with ease, or is he cautious and hesitant when faced with a new situation?
- Would he be more relaxed in a large group of children providing lots of opportunities for social interaction, or in a smaller group setting which might be less overwhelming?
Sleep
Some children’s sleep-wake patterns adapt easily to a group schedule, while others’ do not. Parents should look for centres that offer:
- individual schedules (vs group routines)
- separate sleeping areas
- appropriate lighting (dim), temperature (comfortable) and noise level (low).
Special Needs
- Are staff members open and enthusiastic about accommodating your child?
- Are staff trained and supported to accommodate children with special needs?
- Is the setting (including playground) accessible to your child?
- Do any books or toys feature children with special needs?
- Are staff willing to help your child develop the skills that your family believe are important?
Legal Entitlement for Breaks
Make sure you know the latest entitlements for rest, food and breastfeeding at work.
Employers must provide appropriate facilities and breaks for women who want to breastfeed at work. This can be unpaid or paid, depending on the workplace policy.
Employers have to give breastfeeding breaks and appropriate facilities for women who want to breastfeed or express milk for their babies at work or during the working day, where this is reasonable and realistic in the circumstances (taking into consideration the employer’s operational environment and the employer’s resources). The breaks are unpaid and in addition to rest and meal breaks (unless the employee and employer agree otherwise). If employers don’t do this, the Employment Relations Authority could make them comply or give them a penalty.
Providing appropriate facilities for breastfeeding in the workplace
The facilities for breastfeeding should be appropriate. This means different things depending on the industry, workplace and employer’s resources. Appropriate facilities shouldn’t have to be too expensive or complicated. In most cases, a woman just needs a private space with somewhere to sit, and maybe a power point and access to a fridge if she’s expressing milk.